Showing posts with label comment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comment. Show all posts

Saturday, 7 November 2015

Fireworks!

Today I'm looking back at the week through the ashen haze of November 5th and all the significance of that day.  Some have suggested that, had the Gunpowder Plot not been detected, the ensuing explosion could have wiped out not only the King and the Commons, but such a large slice of the country's higher society sitting in the House of Lords that the vacuum left could have given rise to complete anarchy.  At least one public voice has forsworn marking the occasion because of the burning of catholic effigies; ... the event still causes comment and controversy after 410 years!

For me the week began with an emotional 'banger' when, on Monday afternoon, I made a delivery to the Tata steelworks in Corby.  The present activity is but a small percentage of what once went on at the site, and in some ways it was like driving through a graveyard, with vegetation creeping over almost every piece of concrete and brickwork.  Even the occupied buildings are dismal, and this was matched by the demeanour of the few people I encountered.  The storeman's hi-viz jacket looked as if it hadn't seen a laundry for a year or more, and after he had torn himself away from a conversation with two others, similarly attired, his attitude to me - while not offensive - was at best desultory.  I got the impression that he would have preferred to be anywhere but there, but that there was no choice for him ... which is probably not far from the truth.  I was reminded of some factories where I have worked in the past, and I wondered what it must have been like to work there, say, thirty or forty years ago.

Ouse Valley Viaduct;  photo credit:
Joshua Dunlop, expertphotography.com
Contrast this sad scene with the catherine wheel that was the delight of Tuesday afternoon.  This was, I think, the second time I've driven past the Ouse Valley Viaduct near Balcombe in Sussex, and it was no less surprising and spectacular than previously.  Wikipedia tells me that it's 96 ft high, and its 37 arches stretch for a distance of 1,475 ft. ... well over a quarter of a mile!  Made of 11 million bricks in 1841, the viaduct is still in use, carrying over 100 trains a day between London and Brighton.

Wednesday began with a handful of sparklers: a trio of local jobs, before the day's squib, a trip to Cheshire.  However, it was more like a damp squib because, by the time I arrived at Mottram St Andrew it was dark, and I discovered that the delivery point was an executive dwelling in a road where each house had a name rather than a number.  I was very glad that my job had been updated to provide me with a phone number, but even so there was a little confusion about where in the road I had parked to make the call, and my mission was only successful because the householder came outside and spotted my stationery headlights along the road!

Thursday took a shape rather parallel to its predecessor; more sparklers were followed by a rocket, but one with a broken stick.  I was returning from Biggleswade when a phone call invited me to consider a morning delivery in Glasgow.  A quick calculation sent me home briefly, to gather a few essentials together and make a telephone booking for a room at the truckstop in Carlisle for the night before heading to Stevenage for the pick-up.  The first problem was that no one knew what I was supposed to be collecting.  A phone call quickly identified the person who had made the booking, but she was not at work that day.  More delays and phone calls ensued.  Eventually it was revealed that I had been despatched in response to what had been no more than a quotation provided some days previously: a quotation that had proved too expensive, and the goods had already been despatched by other means.

Yesterday's sequence resembled a roman candle, beginning with a couple of low-level jobs, firstly collecting for one customer from two local suppliers and then, on my way back, being diverted to the hospital in Stevenage to collect some documents for an address in Letchworth.  Then came deliveries to a couple of surgeries in Buckinghamshire before the final explosion, a small parcel for a private address in Mangotsfield, just off the Bristol ring road.  It seemed that half London was escaping down the M4, and my delivery time advanced almost as quickly as the traffic.  What had set out as a planned 5.30 delivery finally hit the doorstep at 7.40; fortunately my fears that the consignee had given me up and gone out for the evening were unfounded!

Now I can prepare for November's usual pattern to move forward another notch, to commemorate both national and personal war dead on Remembrance Sunday tomorrow.

Saturday, 24 October 2015

The Silly Season

There is a saying in the world of newspapers that summer is the 'Silly Season', because there is frequently nothing sufficiently important to capture the headlines of all the papers, and each tends to pick out something different from the mix to lead on.  It may not be summer any longer, but that's the shape of the week just ending: lots of snippets, but no lead story.

Snippet number one finds me on Sunday evening, parked on a pavement in the centre of the town, assisting in the unloading of a two-seater settee to one of the early Garden City houses.  The father of the occupant had secured this item on freecycle [What a boon this is to so many people in search of both the mundane and the esoteric!], and had solicited my help in collecting and transporting it to its new home.

On Monday, after a couple of deliveries in Kent, I was given a choice of two possibilities in the late afternoon.  One was two drinks orders to Suffolk and Essex; the other was a medical item to be taken to a private address in Milton Keynes.  I chose the latter on the basis that I ought then to be back in time for ringing practice in the evening, where I had been told there would be several regulars who would be absent this week.  I returned home at 7.20, grabbed a sandwich, and was on parade as usual at 7.45.  I discovered that not only were most of the supposed absentees present, but also a number of others, too.  After two abortive attempts to concentrate, I decided that my time would be better spent at my desk after all, and so came home again.

Tuesday's success was to drive around Suffolk and Essex enjoying the rich autumnal colours by the roadside, while Wednesday required me to cross the Dartford Bridge for a second time in the week in order to take a parcel to a restaurant near Sevenoaks.  I was spotted going around the M25, and given another collection near Hastings for delivery in Stratford, E15.  I stopped at a service station on the way back, where I discovered that refurbishment had necessitated temporary toilet facilities in the corner of the car park.  After marvelling at the immaculate tiling on the walls and the shiny basin, I encountered other regular features such as the ubiquitous puddle beneath the urinals, and the fellow-user who rejects the opportunity to use the adjacent urinal in favour of standing in the cubicle without shutting the door ... augmented on this occasion by an outside door that wouldn't open properly, causing a painful collision of thigh and door frame in both directions of travel!

Thursday began uncomfortably early, with a 6.30 collection in Royston, going no further than Thetford, to be followed by two local jobs.  The second of these was withdrawn (thankfully!) and replaced by another, more lucrative opportunity: an envelope to be taken from an office in Welwyn Garden City to another in a beautiful park location near Knutsford.  On the way came another, more conventional, delivery of some plumbing equipment to Tamworth.

Wednesday, as many will be aware, was the 210th anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar, where Norfolk's most famous admiral lost his life aboard HMS Victory.  Like me, perhaps fewer could have said that yesterday was the centenary of another death, that of the 67-year-old William Gilbert Grace, who has been described as 'the King of Cricket'.  It was appropriate that I made this discovery through listening to the lunchtime feature on the second day of the Pakistan test match, while driving to a delivery in South Cerney, in the county where WG was born and spent much of his life, Gloucestershire.

Next week is another in which I play the part of 'trainee retiree', and I have no significant plans, apart from a few minor chores that have accumulated under the heading of 'when time allows'.  Is this what true retirement will really look like?

Saturday, 11 April 2015

The First Expedition

My home from home
Last weekend I was hoping for some spring weather.  It came ... well ... brilliantly, where I was, although I know there were places less fortunate.  From the thick coat I wore last week, even a flimsy one was too much, and stayed firmly in reserve in my bag.  I set off, as planned, about lunch time on Sunday, and a leisurely two-and-a-half hours later I arrived on my cousin's doorstep at 3.0pm. At least, it would have been the doorstep if I'd been willing to try reversing the motorhome down her drive!  As it was, I parked on the roadside by the lamp-post, where vanity prevailed, and some photos were taken.

It's always good to catch up with family. There's only so much that can be exchanged through social media, and the laughter that overcame us at one point - purely through a misunderstanding of what we could both see out of the window - could never be transmitted, and had to be heard to be believed! Suffice to say that the word 'butterfly' will become a family euphemism for amusement.  As if to seal this new law, I found a small metal butterfly ornament on a pavement a couple of days later, and kept it as a souvenir.
St Giles' church, Cromwell

On Tuesday I made the short journey to the Milestone Caravan Park in Cromwell, a charming if small village to the north of Newark.  After settling in, I took a walk into the village and examined the church, which to my amazement I found open.  It was clean, neat and seemed well looked after, and on the wall I found a portrait of Frances Smith who, at the age of 39, was the first lady in England to be appointed to the office of churchwarden.  I wasn't expecting to find myself staying in a village of such national achievement!
Milestone Park:
my pitch by the lakeside

Milestone Park:
the lake with benefits for all
As to the site itself, I was quite im-pressed. As well as all the usual facilities - including showers that are hot, and toilet floors that are dry - it boasts its own fishing lake, providing endless activity for those who fish, and pleasant scenery for those who don't.  I found a pitch that overlooks it, and took many pictures of the ducks that enjoy life there. There's a little island in the lake on which is a small duck-house, perhaps inherited from a political scandal of a few years ago!  There's even a little display alongside one of the footpaths that wouldn't be out of place by the seaside!

Newark: the church tower
looks benignly over the roof-tops
Wednesday found me out and about in good time to catch the bus into Newark. Like many such places, at its heart is a large market place, which I found to be in full swing when I turned up at about 10.0 am.  The church tower can be seen beyond the rooftops, watching the goings on from a street away.  I found myself wandering this way and that, just taking in the day-to-day of a town at work.  There were a number of eating-places, but many were not yet open.  I also discovered that there is another side to the town.  Wondering why so many people were coming out of a narrow passage, I explored and found that it led to the Town Lock, a canalside panorama complete with warehouses and a castle!
Newark: Town Lock and
the castle ruins
The canal was built in the late eighteenth century by the Trent Navigation Company, to service the many maltings in the town.  Now it serves as a tourist attraction, and a backdrop for a pub and cafĂ©.  Apart from the open air market there is also the Butter Market, so-called, behind which there used apparently to be a covered market, but this is now re-modelled to provide a number of small retail units and a delightful first-floor cafe beneath a glass roof.  After sampling its wares, I made my way back to the bus station, and my temporary home at the campsite.

All too soon it was time to return to real life where, for the first time, I helped to ring bells for a Friday wedding ... very fashionable these days, it seems. Why, oh why, are brides notoriously late?  The odd minute is profoundly traditional, and of course acceptable, but over half an hour ...?!  Some of us do have other lives to get on with.

The week has taught me one thing.  Nothing goes completely right first time. I've brought home a list of things to do differently next time, or matters that simply need to be attended to.  My challenge is to fit them in alongside another session of 'normal work', which begins on Monday.

All is not as it seems!

Saturday, 25 October 2014

Strike a Light!

I've been thinking about light this week; and that, of course, includes lights, and more philosophical enlightenment, too.

On Monday and Tuesday I wasn't working.  Instead my attention was focussed on a hospital appointment on Tuesday afternoon, when I underwent a colonoscopy procedure.  As you may know, this involves a camera, and normally cameras don't operate without light.  There was also light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, when the doctor announced at the end of it that he had found nothing.  Until that moment, I hadn't realised how anxious I had been about this beneath the surface, but suddenly there came a feeling of great relief, as if someone had switched on a great light!

The sky on Thursday evening was riven with more lights, as lots of fireworks were let off to mark Diwali, the Hindu Festival of Lights.  I was a little apprehensive, since I had to get up early yesterday morning, but fortunately my bedroom is on the opposite side from the 'noisy quarter', and I was undisturbed.

You may think it strange, but I like driving in the evening, at night, or in the early morning.  For one thing it's usually more peaceful, but often there is beauty to be seen, too.  I remember one night driving home from Scotland along the A68, where a straight road on the map is actually so up and down that at times it looked as if I were driving straight at the full moon.  On another occasion, I had set off early for a destination up the A1, and was able to delight in the sunrise over my right wing-mirror.

Yesterday's early departure was for Avonmouth and Weston-super-Mare, but the illumination wasn't provided by sunrise, but by a car on fire on the hard shoulder of the M25.  Now when I say on fire, it wasn't just a plume of smoke, although that was there as well; there were flames shooting high into the sky, and the heat was quite intense as I passed in the second lane.  It looked - thankfully - as if driver and passengers were safely standing by another vehicle some way off.

As dawn was breaking my mind was on a totally different kind of light ... or rather the lack of it.  The news bulletins reported the story of the requirement by the EU of an additional contribution of £1.7 billion from the UK, according to the headlines because of our increased productivity.  The main item revealed that this was actually the result of revised calculations under terms agreed nearly twenty years ago, but you wouldn't think so to hear some of the politicians interviewed, who were quick to make party capital out of the news.  Terms like 'an extra tax', 'an illegal tax' were heard; later bulletins reported our PM bemoaning the short notice - which I feel is valid - but then going on to grumble about being asked to pay more anyway, when in previous years we benefitted from a rebate ... which presumably was not so objectionable.  At least the interviews in this morning's news programme were more reasoned and understanding of what is going on.  However, I do wish this country would for once get a grip on the fact that it is PART OF EUROPE, instead of always belly-aching about THEM and US as two sides of a constant battle!

While controversy reigns, let's turn back to the hospital I visited at the beginning of the week, where  I couldn't have received better treatment ... as has always been the case.  What a shame that nurses and other public sector employees were taking industrial action last week about pay.  I confess to a degree of enlightenment there myself: I hadn't realised that these people earn so little that they can't afford to keep their families.  I suppose, because my income fluctuates as much as it does, I've lost any feeling for seeing the same figure week after week, knowing that it won't change until the next annual review.  Over the past quarter, for example, my highest weekly income was more than twice the lowest; and the lowest figure wouldn't have been enough to meet the monthly rent on my flat, let alone cover my business expenses - of which fuel alone is nearly £8,000 a year!  I guess it's all a matter of balance.

And having got all that off my chest, I notice it's time to change the clocks back to GMT tonight!  It sort of puts things into a greater perspective, somehow ... and gives us a bit more light in the mornings!

Saturday, 4 October 2014

Where Were You?

It's become something of a clichĂ© in the last fifty years.  Where were you when Kennedy was shot/Elvis died/war was declared/whatever?  Until quite recently, there were only two of those questions to which I could provide an answer.  I remember where I was when I heard the first news of the Seven Day War in 1967 - sitting in the school library, talking to about five others, of whom I can remember only one by name.  And I remember where I was when I heard the first news of the 9/11 bombings - sitting in my office in Royston, when a colleague returned from lunch, having seen the live newsreel on TV.

I realised this week that I can add a third momentous event to that catalogue.

It's funny, isn't it, how one thought leads to another and that one to another and so on until, as a friend said after reading one of my magazine articles, "I had to go back and read it all again because I just couldn't believe how you'd got from the opening comment to the final conclusion!"

Yesterday morning, I had to make a collection from an industrial unit in Walsall.  It was one of those estates that is divided into blocks, presumably according to the original stages in the development of the site.  The address I had was 'Unit 2A' so, quite reasonably, I thought, I'd look for unit 2, and would find it divided into two or more parts.  There was no sign of unit 2. Eventually I came upon a map: an essential component of every industrial estate in my experience.  Here I discovered that there were five parts of the estate - A, B, C, D and E.  I had already passed the entrance to part A, assuming incorrectly that it was all one large premises, and noticing that it didn't bear the name of the firm I was looking for.  By the time I'd back-tracked and located unit 2 in this area, I was about five minutes behind my scheduled arrival time.

As I approached, two men were wrapping a pallet of goods more thoroughly than I think I've ever seen before, not only horizontally, but vertically too, with the pallet perched on the tines of the fork truck, and the men passing the roll of wrapping film from one to the other over and under it.  Having confirmed that it was this pallet that I had arrived to collect, one of them promptly loaded it into my van, and ushered me inside to wait for the paperwork.  As he did so, I commented on their thoroughness, referring to a very badly wrapped consignment I'd carried earlier in the week.  In this case, the wrapping was applied very skimpily, once the goods had been piled on the pallet inside the van.  "You're not going far," said the man, "you won't be braking suddenly, will you?"  I had agreed that I shouldn't, but it wasn't the braking or not that was important.  As I steered around the first roundabout, at only 8 mph, a 'whoosh, clunk' came from the rear of the van: the goods had already slipped off the pallet!

I stood in this Walsall unit, and looked around me.  The whole place exuded that same care that those men had shown in their wrapping.  The floor was clean, and the walls, too, apart from a few cobwebs far too high to be either reachable or any threat to what was going on beneath.  The operator at the far end of the workshop, carrying on his task oblivious to my studious eye, seemed to be applying the full attention to detail to meet the requirements of the most fussy customer.

As I waited, taking in all around me, I considered just what management skills might be required to run a business in these difficult times, provide work for and appropriate rewards to at least two employees - perhaps more - and make a profit at the end of it all.  Still the paperwork hadn't appeared, and my attention turned to the radio that was playing in the background.  It was tuned to BBC Radio 2; by then it was coming up to 9.30 am, and Sara Cox, sitting in for Chris Evans this week, was handing over to Ken Bruce. Suddenly something flashed in my mind, and I remembered clearly where I was at 9.30 am on December 18th 2009.

I had just come to the end of one of those tricky, overnight jobs where you pick up the goods during the evening, and you know it's not really worth going home, because you'll only get a couple of hours' sleep before you need to be up to leave to drive across the country in order to make your delivery time.  So you drive, slowly at first until it seems ridiculous, then normally; and you stop at an amazing number of services in order to get coffee, use the toilet or choose an attractive chocolate bar.  You find a lay-by where you can grab a few minutes' sleep to keep safe for the rest of the night, and by 7.0 you get to your destination when there's no one about.  You run the engine to keep warm, hoping that you don't disturb nearby residents.  In between dozing, you see people going about their business as the town wakes up. Eventually someone comes and opens the shop ...

That morning I made my one and only ever delivery to a chemist's shop in Caernarfon, having purposely driven all the way up the A5 from Milton Keynes, knowing that it would take far longer than any normal route.  And I listened to Radio 2 as I began the next leg of my 565-mile assignment, to collect from Liverpool for the same customer.  I think that was the last morning I listened to Radio 2 - it just had no more appeal without that soft Limerick voice.

So, where were you when Sir Terry Wogan signed off for the last time?

Saturday, 20 September 2014

So, what HAS changed?

It seems that 'change' is the in-word at the moment, especially in the light - and the aftermath - of the Scottish Referendum.  Since I referred to this at length last week, I'll just make one observation and pass on.  It seems that greater minds than mine had noticed the 'English unfairness'; the NO vote may have triggered some movement on this aspect.  Whether greater or lesser movement remains to be seen, but it will dominate our domestic news bulletins for months to come.

The big change in my own life - again mentioned here a number of times - has been the takeover of our operation by a national courier company.  After eight weeks, I feel I can make a fairly balanced assessment of its effects. Earlier this year, I wrote here about my 'gold and silver' analysis scheme for comparing the results of each week.  This weekend I've been comparing the seventeen weeks, from the start of the financial year in April to the takeover, to the eight weeks since.  In the longer period there were three silver weeks and one gold; in the eight weeks since the change five weeks have been 'silver' and one gold.

I think it was Disraeli who gets the blame for the comment about 'lies, damned lies, and statistics', and it's certainly true that figures can, in large measure, be massaged according to the desired message.  So I throw out these comparisons with no guarantee of their being connected or inter-related or evidence of cause-and-effect.  Rather, in my father's simple wisdom, I just 'speak as I find'.  Since the change of rĂ©gime, my average weekly income has increased by almost a quarter; the average distance travelled each day is almost 14% more, and the earnings per mile driven is up by over 11%.  The number of jobs in a week has also increased, from 12.2 in the earlier weeks to 15.6 more recently.  I have explained about getting work from other depots, which is a significant departure from our previous isolated operation; such assignments account for about 12% of my income since the takeover, but even eliminating these completely, the jobs from our own area have risen to 13.9 per week.

Enough figures!

One thing that hasn't changed is the existence of so-called 'bad' days, and my reaction to them.  Let me be clear: not all 'bad' days are financially unproductive; into that category I consign any day that has seemed in any way unsatisfying.  Conversely, a day when I've done just one job that has been interesting, or which might have involved overcoming a particular problem would definitely not be a bad day at all ... such as the sunny Friday afternoon I spent at a caravan park near Skegness, trying to find out what to do with a van-load of medication for a hospital out-patient arriving for his holiday the following day!  Usually, after a succession of two or three 'bad' days, I find depression kicks in, bringing thoughts of 'being singled out for the rubbish' or 'left off the list', or simply being deliberately overlooked.

This week began with two of those 'bad' days.  On Monday I began with a journey to Bedford; next came one to Braintree, and then in the afternoon came a pair of deliveries to Hatfield and Bishop's Stortford, on the return from which I was diverted to Hertford, to collect for Witham.  If you're interested enough to check out the map, you'll see that I had to negotiate the notorious junction at Little Hadham no less than six times in the day, and didn't venture more than one county away from base all day.  Tuesday began with the exact same job to Bedford again, and then fell into a similar limited frame, as two jobs followed one after the other, with no return home until the day was done: one from Biggleswade to Milton Keynes, the other collected from Bedford with deliveries in Baldock and Harefield.

War memorial,
Churston Ferrers, Devon
Then came the day that redeemed the week.  Up long before daylight, I took some air-conditioning equipment to a shop that is being refurbished in the centre of Bath.  I was also loaded with a collection of important envelopes, the first of which had to be delivered to an office next to Temple Meads station in the middle of Bristol before 9.0 am!  Then the pressure was off, as I took the remaining envelopes to addresses in Chippenham, Torquay and Brixham.
Finishing at 1.30, I could then spend the rest of the day getting home.  I called the office in Plymouth, just in case there should be a job going in my direction, but to no avail and, after a lovely half-hour relaxing in the sunshine by this war memorial in Churston Ferrers, I made my way back to the motorway.

After such a day the rest of the week, which included trips to a remote farm near Whittlesey, Cambs., Gillingham Hospital in Kent, and Crowmarsh Gifford in rural Oxfordshire, paled into insignificance proving that (in the words of a BBC Radio 4 programme title) it's 'All in the Mind'!

Saturday, 13 September 2014

It's Personal!

Personal - adj. - one's own; done or made in person; directed to or concerning an individual; existing as a person, not as an abstraction or thing - Oxford English Dictionary (selections).

Most of my work is the collection and delivery of goods the ownership of which is being transferred from one inanimate entity to another.  By contrast, the work is carried out by receiving the goods from an employee of one company and later having them signed for by an employee of another company.  I receive them from one person and give them to another person ... in that way, it's a personal service: rarely, if ever, does it take place without the passage of words - more likely a brief conversation - between us.

Some of the people I collect from are already known to me, like Martin, who used to be a fellow bell-ringer, and whom I sometimes encounter watching the same football match on a Saturday.  Others I have come to know through regular contact, some by name, like Shazad, who usually sends me on my way with a friendly comment like 'take care, mate!'; others simply by being the same face at the same door every time.  On the delivery side, regular jobs often involve meeting the same people each time I deliver there.  Sometimes a single delivery can generate conversation sufficient to warrant the parting greeting, 'see you again', or 'see you next time', even when there is little likelihood of my ever going there again.  Often peculiar situations make specific people or jobs easy to recall.  This week, for example, I delivered a piece of equipment to a dental practice in Liverpool.  It was heavy, and the occasion was memorable for the genial conversation between myself, the recipient, with whom I carried it from the van to the office, and his female assistant, who dealt with the doors.

I'm reminded of another dental delivery some months ago, this time for a different customer, and to a practice in Oswestry.  Here the goods consisted of a single box, less than 12" cube, but exceedingly heavy.  It was as much as I could do to lift it from the floor to the van.  When I arrived, the nearest I could park to the door was several yards away, and the comment that sprang into my mind, as I asked if there was someone who could carry it in, has lodged there ever since.  I said to the woman who answered the door, 'I don't know what's in that box, but it's far heavier than something that size has any right to be!'  The smile of sympathetic amusement that accompanied the reply, 'I'll fetch our young man,' underlines the personal nature of my work.

This line of thought was prompted by two separate incidents this week.  On Wednesday, I did a job for one of our oldest customers, whose goods are always fragile.  When he gave me the job the previous evening, the controller said, "I'm not sure I should tell you this, but they asked for you in particular to do it: 'can we have the man with the cross, please?' "  I have to explain that, for many years now, I have consistently worn a small wooden cross around my neck.  It is usually overlooked, perhaps thought of as a mere eccentricity, or unmentioned because of familiarity or for lack of something appropriate to say.  Occasionally, however, it attracts a passing comment like 'that's a nice cross', or a direct question, 'are you a Christian, then?' Sometimes it can introduce confusion when people assume - wrongly - that I wear it because I'm a priest.  Explanations can vary from complex, to embarrassing, to dismissive, according to the personalities involved.  In this case, it was a convenient means of personally identifying their preferred driver.

The second incident won't reach its conclusion until next Thursday, but already it is dominating the news bulletins to the point of exasperation.  I refer, of course, to the Referendum on Scottish Independence.  When it first arose, I think I considered the whole thing a bit of a nonsense; they've been part of the UK since 1707, why on earth should things change after over 300 years?  As 'R-Day' has drawn closer, however, and the debates have become more heated, I have found myself thinking more deeply about the matter. The 'magic' date of 1707 only marked the final union of the two parliaments; soon after his succession as King of England in 1603, James I (who as James VI had already been King of Scotland for over 35 years) was dreaming of the two kingdoms becoming one and declared himself to be King of Great Britain.   Against this, it is arguable that the countries themselves have never been one.  Scotland, for example, still has its own legal system which, though generally similar, is different in countless ways from that of England and Wales.

Listening to the most recent discussions on the radio - my constant companion on the road - I learn that the main thrust of the pro-independence argument is the claim that, despite once more having its own Parliament in Edinburgh, Scotland still finds itself fundamentally governed from Westminster by a Parliament which does not reflect the political balance of the votes cast in Scotland.  Whatever additional powers might be granted to the Scottish Parliament in the event of a 'No' vote, this basic situation would still prevail, keeping Scotland subject to English domination and whim, very much like a colony, with its own control only over those matters that the dominant power decides to allow.

I find myself in sympathy with the 'Yes' side, and experience the same kind of feelings that characterise my deep, though unexplained, interest in all things Irish, of which I have written before in this blog.  I have questioned why this should be, since - at least as my family history researches have shown up to now - I'm English through and through.  The only thought that seems to stand further scrutiny is some kind of post-devolution envy. Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland each has its own assembly to control essentially domestic matters, but control of the corresponding domestic affairs of England are inextricably inter-woven within the legislature that governs the whole Union.  This lop-sided situation is unfair to England, which has never had its own exclusive parliament since the Act of Union (with Wales) in 1536; at the same time, it is unfair to the other parts of the UK, since it underlines the thought expressed above - if nowhere else - that Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are but colonies, allowed to run certain things for themselves, but within strict limits defined by the motherland.

Everything is personal, whether it's the reaction of other people to me or with me, or mine to them, or the thoughts that clutter my mind on the road. Sooner or later it all comes out here in the blog, so watch this space for more personal revelations!

Friday, 14 February 2014

Water, water everywhere ... and lots more besides!

I began this month by thinking about twos, and followed up last week with two hospitals.  This week, apart from another hospital to add to my collection, I can bring you tidings from no less than three airports, with their varying stories.

The week began with a fairly undemanding Monday: a regular collection from Daventry for a customer in Royston, another from Bedford, and a couple more local jobs to Luton and Cambridge, and the joy in the evening to go bellringing for the first time in about three weeks.  By Tuesday morning it was my privilege to be top of the list.

Called at about 9.30, I was despatched with a box of equipment to the theatre of Hereford County General Hospital.  The journey was straightforward, and in places quite spectacular, with only one closed road to delay me, and superb views of the flooding around Worcester and Hereford, where the Teme and Lugg respectively had covered a number of fields in each direction.  Respect for those suffering from this tragic situation combined with consideration for other road users to preclude the taking of any photos and, having left so early in the day, I was home again in time to be given a job for Wednesday morning.

On the face of it, this ought to have been a routine job.  I was sent to Heathrow airport to collect some items for our customer in Hitchin.  I'd been given the name of a contact and his phone no. - what could go wrong?  My suspicions were aroused when I examined the address on the computer the previous evening.  It appeared that terminal 2B is still under construction, and it was by no means clear where would be the point of access.  I decided that I would phone my contact while still on the M25.  It was well that I did, for instead of turning towards the airport, I was told that I needed to leave the motorway and head west!  A subsequent U-turn then brought me to a control area adjacent to the motorway, where things began to liven up.

The problem was that the point of collection was 'airside', in other words I was subject to all the normal constraints that apply to passengers travelling on an aircraft . . . and not only me, but my van as well!  After all the scanning - including the removal of boots - inspection and examination (I still haven't worked out why the contents of three bottles of plain water had to be poured out, while I was allowed to retain a container of screenwash!) I was given a sheet of driving instructions and, followed by a security vehicle, drove to another location on the airport where the same searches were carried out, this time including a body search!  Eventually the security vehicle led me to the collection point which was, as I'd expected, on a building site.  Minutes later the escorted journey was reversed, and soon I was heading back to home territory, some three-and-a-half hours after my arrival!

The week's excitement was just beginning; once this collection had been delivered (during that day's allotted downpour!), I was sent to Stansted airport, where disciplines were only a little less severe, to collect a pallet of goods that had arrived for one of our customers in Stevenage.  Once these had been delivered, some of the boxes were labelled, prepared for despatch to their customer, and re-loaded onto my van, to be taken to Rochdale for 6.0 am delivery the next day.

During the course of this journey and the two local jobs that followed, I had become aware of an intermittent noise.  Experience has taught me that noises can be expensive and shouldn't be ingored.  So, after delivering a cooker this morning to a building site on the outskirts of Oxford, I phoned the garage. The staff there have always been understanding of my situation, and the immediate reaction was, yes, bring it in and we'll have a listen.  Sadly, new brake parts were called for, but these were rapidly obtained and fitted, and I was back on the road - happily silent - within a couple of hours.  Two local jobs completed my day, including a visit to the third airport of the week, at Cambridge, the co-operation of whose security and goods-in staff was a welcome contrast to the heavier formality of recent days.

After I'd exchanged the van for the comfortable surroundings of my lounge, I realised how tiring the week had been, with only five hours' unsettled sleep on Wednesday night, and the need for another early start this morning in order to make the requested 8.0 delivery.  When the phone rang an hour later to enquire whether I'd like to match this week's hospital count to last week's, with a trip to Bristol this evening, I decided enough is enough, and echoed last Friday's positive 'No thanks.'

Now the weekend is off to a good start!

Saturday, 30 November 2013

Waiting ...

It goes without saying, perhaps, that in this line of work there can be a lot of waiting.  For example, it was long understood that, if we got to the place of loading at the appointed time, and were kept waiting more than 20 minutes, then we would get paid 'waiting time'; similarly if, after arriving at our destination, we were kept waiting before the goods were unloaded and signed for, anything in excess of this magic 20 minutes would be paid for.  There are some occasions when access to a loading bay is delayed by a rigid queuing system, and we might have to wait for the unloading of other, much larger, vehicles.

Eventually, as was ever the case, the payment system became ill-used, and waiting time was regularly claimed by some drivers on certain jobs, whether applicable or not, so a ruling was made that all waiting time had to be signed for on our delivery sheets.  However, there was often no one available who was willing, or felt authorised, to do this, and in the face of all these difficulties, coupled with the fact that some customers refuse to pay it anyway, I have long since not bothered to claim it, whatever the circumstances.

In any case, this kind of waiting is small compared to the time when we can be waiting for the next job, and one bonus of my present situation, working from home, is that I can use my waiting time on something productive, from ironing to writing short stories, from reading to digging into my family history.

This week there have been a number of noticeably long periods of waiting other than waiting at home.  On Wednesday afternoon, for example, I had collected a couple of large boxes from a customer to be sent by airfreight to their clients in far-off lands.  The first had to be taken to forwarding agents in Uxbridge, where I followed the usual instructions to wear hi-viz clothing and enter a door marked 'All drivers report here!'  Inside I found myself along with two other drivers in a small wire cage, through which we could see the warehouse staff busily going about their business, and at the same time totally ignoring us.  After a few minutes, one of the others said, with characteristic irony, "They're funny things, these hi-viz jackets - they make you completely invisible!"  Eventually it became apparent that out of all the staff present, only one was dealing with incoming goods, and it was well over half an hour before I was unloaded and on my way again.

As it happened my next job was to collect something left for me at the customer services desk in a Tesco superstore.  Here both the customer services staff and I were the victims of 'Chinese whispers'.  So far as I was concerned, I was collecting an envelope, which is what I told the already very busy staff behind the counter.  Not being aware of such an item, they searched high and low for an envelope that might have been left with a previous shift for collection; phone calls were made to staff in other likely departments; the assistant manager of the store was also involved  ... all to no avail.  All I could tell them by way of assistance was the name and business of our customer, on behalf of whom I was collecting; I had no idea what was in the envelope, and therefore had no idea of the size.

An hour after my arrival, following extensive searches and enquries within the store, a phone call to my office, and others to our customer, from them to Tesco, and back down the chain, I emerged with not an envelope, but a hard, black A3 folder containing just a few paper notes.  Apparently 'folder' had been interpreted as 'manila folder', and then 'folder or envelope', and so on. Eventually I learned that our customer's sales rep, to whom I delivered the item, had left this behind in error earlier in the day, and only discovered its loss some miles away when he arrived at his next call.

Friday morning brought more 'on-the-job' waiting.  I was up early, having been deputed to arrive at a company in Waterbeach at 6.30 am to collect goods for our customer in Royston.  My arrival - at half-past on the dot - caused something of a sensation.  Yes, goods for our mutual customer had been processed during the night, but since they had no idea I was coming, let alone that early, the paperwork wasn't ready, and indeed the member of staff responsible wouldn't arrive until 7.0!  As it happened, he was early, and prepared to get straight onto the task, and soon after 7.0, I was loaded and on my way.  It gave me an unusual opportunity to admire the cleanliness and tidy organisation of a factory, and compare it favourably to those within which I've worked in the past.

Today brings me happy memories connected with a totally different sort of waiting.  Tomorrow sees the start of the Christian season of Advent: a different sort of waiting - both preparation for Christmas, and a time of looking forward to the Second Coming of Christ.  Almost thirty years ago, when I was studying German, my teacher recommended that those of us who were interested might benefit from paying a visit to St Michael's Church Hall in the centre of Cambridge.  Here, for many years, it had been the practice of the city's Lutheran community to hold an annual 'Advent Fair'.  It was, you might say, the 'original version' of the sort of Christmas paraphernalia that Prince Albert introduced to Victorian England (like our adored Christmas tree!)  I went along to it at least two years, and it was as good as she had foretold.

To visit what on any other day was just a bare church hall was, on that occasion, like stepping into a foreign wonderland.  There were presents and decorations to buy; there were pine decorations, the scent of which was quite intoxicating; and lovely cakes and sweetmeats, too. ...  Oh, the variety of fare to eat, both savory and sweet, was truly remarkable.  The event concluded with a short service conducted partly in English and partly in German, as were the carols that we sang.  I visited Cambridge again in the mid '90s with an idea of going there again, but the hall was closed.  I think the Lutherans have their own church building now, and presumably if the event still happens, it would be there.  Nothing, however, can replace for me that special atmosphere, with the medieval stonework and Gothic windows as a backdrop.

Ah, well!  Back to the twenty-first century!

Saturday, 16 November 2013

Back to Normal?

This week the Governor of the Bank of England, Mark Carney, said, "The recovery has finally taken hold." From my lowly standpoint, I'm inclined to agree with him.  This week, for the first time for quite some while, I felt deprived of the benefits of working from home.  Although they did still exist, the minutes between 8.0 am and 6.0 pm when I actually did something productive on the home front were very few.  There's not room here for a whole diary, but let me pick out some of the highlights.

Monday found me in the centre of Norwich, wallowing in a whole festival of memories from (ahem!) well over 40 years ago.  My delivery was to the long-established family firm of Jarrold & Son.  Early in my working life I had a job at a shop just around the corner from them in Exchange Street.  Having just passed my driving test, I took great delight in driving the firm's van, but when it came to parking it in their garage, it was a different story.  The garage was down a narrow passage, and this was decades before I had learned the wisdom and technique of reverse entry!  The poor van suffered many a blemish, each one lowering my reputation by another notch!

As I left the 'fine city' by way of the Newmarket Road, I passed the Eagle Tavern, and the nearby Eagle Walk, at the end of which in the 1960s was a motor-cycle dealer.  Here I paid a visit one day, accompanied by a more knowledgeable friend, to equip myself with independent transport.  I discovered that, even then, the price for something really worthwhile was just beyond the limit of my resources.  What I liked was a 200cc. Francis-Barnett; what I came away with was a 175cc BSA Bantam, which had started life fired by a magneto, in other words it made its own electricity as the engine rotated.  A previous 'clever' owner had modified it to work with a battery, more like a car engine, and this modification gave me many a scary moment as it refused to work, letting me down sometimes at home, but equally at my destination, with no ready means of getting home again.  After I'd acquired a car, I sold the Bantam to a local dealer, who later told me that he'd never been able to get it working again, and had to re-build it in the original mode so that he could sell it!

Monday finished like the last two Mondays, with my 'invoice and paperwork' visit to the office being greeted with 'something else for the evening'.  Unlike the last two, however, this one was quite a bit longer.  It took me to a new destination, the Golden Jubilee National Hospital at Clydebank.  This seemed very well appointed inside, and as I left (about 2.30 am) and looked back at the floodlit elevation down the avenue through the car park, I said to myself, 'My word, - it looks like a palace!'  Research after my return reveals that it was built on the site of a former shipyard as a private hospital with adjoining hotel, and was acquired by the NHS as a completed unit in 2002 (thanks, Wikipedia!)

Wednesday (after a good night's sleep!) offered two pairs of jobs, one nearby, the other at a comfortable distance.  One of each pair was a return to somewhere that had proved difficult to find on the first visit - it's one of the advantages of doing the job for eleven and a half years that I now know where to go on these occasions.  In the morning I made a delivery to an 'office in a garden' which is situated at the end of a row of cottages in a south Cambridgeshire village.  Many Cambridge post codes were changed a few years ago, and we have a shrewd idea how to amend any that SatNav doesn't like, but it doesn't work when the original one had an error in it as well!  In the afternoon I went to Leicester, taking some veneer to a construction firm whose premises are at the far end of an industrial cul-de-sac at the end of a Victorian housing estate.  Fortunately, the road name struck a chord as I wrote it down, and once I was in the area, I knew what to look for.

I never cease to be amazed at the way my mind can switch from something I'm listening to, onto a completely different track.  As I listened to 'In Our Time' on BBC Radio 4 on Thursday morning, which this week featured Shakespeare's The Tempest, one of Melvin Bragg's guests observed that Prospero had been born on the island, and saw it as his own.  At this point my 'switch' clicked, and I remembered something I'd heard in a programme a couple of years ago.  Someone was interviewing a middle-aged southern European gentleman, who said with amusement, "My son's wife is expecting a baby; now that Croatia has joined the EU, it will be born in Europe.  My son was born in Croatia; I was born in Yugoslavia; My father was born in Italy, and his father in Austria.  We have lived in the same village for over a century."  How the shape of the continent has changed down the years.

And so to yesterday, another very full day.  I began with a delivery to Coventry, ironically to yet another destination which I had difficulty locating when I first went there.  While still on my way, I was asked to make a collection in Milton Keynes on my way back, from Bletchley Park, "The home of the code-breakers" (as the sign on the road outside says).  I took this to the office, for someone else to deliver into south London, and after a few minutes' rest, I was sent to collect something in Letchworth for a firm in Shirebrook, Notts.  No sooner had I got this than the phone rang, sending me just around the corner to another customer who had something for Congleton - "and while you're in the area [so-and-so] will give you a job for Monday morning to Northampton".  As I made my way up the A1, the controller called again.  "When you've dropped the first one of those," he began, "call me, because I've got a collection in Oswestry - which isn't a million miles away!  That can be delivered tomorrow morning, if that's OK with you."  Such courteous phrases only come when he realises that he's asking something 'above and beyond the call of duty' ... and I'm pleased that they do come - I could imagine some people who would take such co-operation for granted, and look on it as a right to ask for it.

As I wrote here last weekend, I was planning today to go to the record office for some research before watching a football match further into Suffolk.  I think it was when I was asked to collect the second afternoon job, the one to Congleton, that I decided that, with no evening in which to prepare, and not too much sleep anyway, this plan wasn't going to happen.  In the event, having collected the goods from Oswestry about 9.30, I wasn't home until around 2.0 am, so this morning was taken up by a comfortable shopping trip, and the admin of the day before.  The journey to mid-Suffolk solely for a football match had been ruled out long ago, which was why I had intended combining it with a morning in the record office; instead I went to my local club, Arlesey Town, who had an FA Trophy tie against Marlow, which they won 2-0.

Normal again?  Watch this space!

Friday, 25 October 2013

When Normality goes Mad

The working title for this blog was 'A Boring Week'.  Every so often you get a week when there is no actual highlight, nothing dramatically out of the ordinary, certainly nothing worth shouting about, and yet, at the end of it, the 'crunch' figure (i.e. estimate of total income for the week) is quite reasonable.  So, before finding something more worthwhile to write about, on with the 'nerd' specs, and let's wheel out the stats.  Although there were seventeen jobs this week, almost half of the miles were taken up by the five jobs that were more than 60 miles distant, and the average of all the rest was only 36 miles.  Two of the best jobs of the week were in the evening - on Wednesday to Daventry, and on Thursday to Birmingham.

My normal weekend routine includes washing (i.e. loading and eventually emptying the washing machine) and ironing.  These are usually performed on Saturday or Sunday; this week, however, ironing took place on Friday and was in fact postponed from Thursday.  Why do I bore you with this domestic detail?  Simply in order to amuse you with the explanation.  On Wednesday morning I had a pre-8.0 delivery in Northampton, and crowned this adventure in the time-honoured fashion with the purchase of a bacon-and-egg roll at a convenient mobile hostelry (often called a burger-van).  Sadly the invitation to have one's egg hard rather than soft was omitted.  This omission not being recognised and resolved, the tragic, but inevitable, outcome was much eggy-dribble on jersey-front.  To be brutally frank, there was egg everywhere, and the eating of breakfast was something of a nightmare rather than the anticipated delight that it usually is.  Emergency laundry was the only option, with the ensuing disruption to my domestic routine.

There is something else about which I had been intending to write for some while.  It concerns a regular route out of town to the south-east, the A507. More accurately, it concerns a single - and solitary - property along this road.

The story has been unfolding gradually for some while, but has now reached a crisis.  This particular property stands back slightly from the road, in a broad clearing.  To the rear is woodland, to the front a decent expanse of lawn, and alongside is the roadway that leads to a farm just over the hill.  From the style I should say it was built in the 1960s or '70s; I'd guess that its accommodation probably includes three or four bedrooms, and there's a built-in garage.  The first time I saw it I thought that this house looked smart.  There was never a 'For Sale' notice outside, and I'd often reflected that I'm not in a position to take any steps towards identifying the owner, let alone to contemplate buying it.  If it comes to that, given its isolated position I'm not sure I'd want to live there.  But that doesn't stop it looking, on a sunny morning, in a rather modernist way, a very attractive dwelling.

As I say, the story has unfolded gradually, but I don't think you'll be surprised to learn that, being unoccupied and isolated, this pleasant property soon became the victim of mindless vandalism.  Window panes were broken; the panels of the front door were kicked in; the garage door was forced open. Before long, the lace curtains had been ripped from the windows, the garage door became twisted and half out of its frame and graffiti started to appear on the door and the walls.  I have to pass this way quite frequently and, as time passed and more and more damage was inflicted, it was as if the poor building was crying out to me to help it.  I began to wonder just who might own it, why it was being left to be attacked in this way, with no sign of any protection or remedial action.  I fantasised about tracing its owner, evaluating a plan whereby a group of capable young people might be assembled to effect repairs on some community enhancement scheme and put into a state where it might be habitable again.

Eventually, with window frames and garage door now completely removed, even if it were once possible, such an adventurous and far-fetched scheme became unimaginable and, within the last couple of weeks, the poor house has given up the ghost.  Its roof has fallen in, and finally someone has decided that it is no longer safe for the casual wanderer or vandal to go inside.  A most professional, metal fence has suddenly appeared all around it to discourage the ingress of those intent on further exploration or destruction.  I now wonder whether, now that this safety step has been taken, it will be properly demolished and the site either re-used for housing or returned to woodland.

More likely, I fear, it will take advantage of its new enhanced isolation to crumble slowly into a ruin and die a natural death over the next few years.

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Of Soldiers and Child Protection, etc.

The other day I was detailed to undertake what seems to have become a regular job for a new company situated just opposite my home, taking their products to Pinewood Studios.  Unlike the last time, when I was held up by fog, traffic and what we euphemistically call 'magnetic sheet syndrome', this week I suffered no delays and arrived at around 7.45.

As I waited in the sunshine for the first members of staff to arrive at the particular office where I was delivering, I noticed that just opposite was a creche.  It is situated just inside the staff entrance to the site, ideally placed for working parents to call in, settle their young children for the morning, and then carry on their journey to their place of work.

My observation of this unfolding of many people's daily routine prompted some reflection, the product of which I will now share with you, dear reader.  Think for a moment of your breakfast table (or someone else's, if appropriate.)  You have overcome the 'Gulliver's Travels' moment, have removed the chosen end of that boiled egg, and are about to attack it with your soldiers.  Would you even think of holding the floppy end of your bread and dipping the crust into the golden egg-yolk?  No.  The crust provides a convenient handle; available for another quick dip before it too is consumed.  To perform the operation in reverse would invite the collapse of the soldier, leaving a stubby crust-end floating uselessly in the egg: truly a breakfast time disaster.

Now rejoin me in your mind's eye, watching those parents drive up to the creche.  Each of them in turn pulled into one of about half a dozen parking spaces by the roadside, switched off the engine, emerged from the driving seat and went round to the rear door on the other side of the car.  Here they released the child from the internal seat, and either helped him/her or waited while he/she emerged from the vehicle.  At that precise moment, the only barrier between the child and the passing traffic, - perhaps only six feet away - is mummy's arm, or worse, only her voice.  How much better to have reversed into the parking space, the results of which would be a) the moving traffic would be a further four feet away; and b) the opening car door would be a protecting barrier for the child.  It would also form a guide, channelling the child naturally towards the safety of the creche.

The design of the motor vehicle, with the steering bit at the front, is not readily compatible with the requirements of the parking manoeuvre, i.e. the need to adjust the position of the end of the car that is last to enter a parking space.  I continue to be amazed at the high percentage of people who prefer to drive forwards into a space rather than reverse in - often making no adjustment whatsoever to the position of either vehicle or driving wheels once the end of the bonnet has reached the far end of the space.  As an addicted people-watcher, particularly one with a professional interest in this specific aspect of behaviour, my guess is that this figure is around 80 to 85%.

Obviously a degree of shunting is necessary somewhere to get either into or out of a parking space, so why not carry this out in the most favourable and most beneficial way?  Apart from the child protection aspect I noticed this week, the benefits of reverse parking are many.  Take first the question of safety.  When you approach the parking space, you are already aware of the surrounding traffic situation: you know which other vehicles are moving, and where they're going.  Advantage can be taken of this information in order to reverse safely into a space.  If you drive straight in, your later manoeuvre to leave will of necessity render you more vulnerable.  It will be conducted when you have to assess the behaviour of other vehicles either before you get into the car, by which time the situation may well have changed; or from a driving position where your vision is restricted by adjacent cars, and where the possibility of eye-contact with other drivers is almost non-existent.  There's also the matter of fuel economy - an all-important consideration when prices are constantly increasing!  Manoeuvres carried out with a warm engine will use less fuel than the same tasks carried out with a cold one.

Our town planners don't help in coping with this dilemma.  The centre of Letchworth has recently been improved, with neat parking spaces along the main shopping street, along which traffic is one-way.  Unfortunately these spaces are rigidly laid out at an angle - an angle which means that you have to park in the direction of travel, and reverse out into the flow of traffic.  As a van driver, I find these spaces virtually unusable for, in addition to the foregoing considerations, my rear vision is severely restricted, and the only way to emerge is simply to 'hope and go', relying on the alertness, consideration and generosity of other drivers - which is by no means a universal commodity!  For the reasons I have outlined, it would have been better if the echelon parking had been laid out in the opposite direction, so that drivers reversed in and drove out, but planners are hardly going to consider safety and economy in the face of the four-fifths or more of the driving population who are set in their habits of 'drive, stop and run away', and give no thought to the essential aftermath,

Friday, 2 March 2012

When Memories Take Over

The other afternoon I was listening to a podcast about the development of supermarkets, and my mind shot right back to my teens, when I used to help out at the grocery shop of W Bale & Son.  It was actually two shops in one, 2-3 Market Place, and it had two front doors - well, three actually, since there was another one in the closed, warehouse end that had been no. 2.  Customers only saw the actual shop, no.3, and being right on the corner, overlooking the market place, it was usually bright and sunny.

Entering by the door further from the corner you had to go down a couple of steps to floor level, and were immediately beside the bacon slicer.  This shining silver and red machine was cleaned every evening by one of the two men who ran the shop, Geoffrey and Cyril.  It was operated by turning a big handle at the far end, as a result of which a system of gears and levers moved the carriage from one end to the other of the bed, and each turn of the handle moved it slightly to the left, and nearer to the circular blade that revolved with a constant whirr as the handle went round.  On the carriage were either two or four poles, between which lay a side of bacon, or a big ham, held firmly in place by a set of fierce metal teeth, part of a securing cover which slid up and down on the poles.

I was always fascinated to watch the rhythmic motion of the men, swinging to and fro as one hand turned the handle while the other caught the rashers as they fell from the blade.  These in turn were swung with equal precision onto a sheet of greaseproof placed there for the purpose.  When by their judgement enough slices had accumulated to make the required weight, this was moved swiftly to the scale, and checked.  Maybe another slice was required, and then he would wrap it up in one smooth movement, tucking in the last end and placing it on the counter facing the customer, as the other hand reached for the ubiquitous pencil perched on his ear, ready to write the price on the outside.  Meanwhile he was already asking, "... something else, Mrs Brown?"  Never a moment was lost, in those days when there was personal service for everyone.

By the time I was about thirteen, I was already familiar with the shop, since my mother had worked there before I was born, and I'd been taken there regularly from a toddler.  It had been suggested that I go and help out for the weeks when Geoffrey, Cyril and their colleague Roly who drove the van, took their annual summer holidays.  At two weeks each, that would nicely occupy me during the long and boring weeks off school.  I was put to gentle duties like shelf-filling, and taking orders around the town on the trade bike, which was brought out of retirement and cleaned up for the occasion.

The customers were the predictable mixture of 'old faithfuls' who lived in the town and called in on a daily or weekly basis, younger families living on the council estates to the east and south-east of the town centre, and farmers and the rural elite from the surrounding villages.  Some would take their groceries with them; others would have them delivered.  One lady from Kenninghall or Fersfield sent her chauffeur, and there was a delightful chap who would have done P G Wodehouse proud, who arrived with a monocle and a limp, and pronounced his greeting, " 'Morning, Mr Hubbard! 'Morning Mr Haystead!" [to Roly] "Hello, young man!"  In turn I too received my due ... a silent smile.  I believe he was an 'Honourable', and had a place in "Who's Who".

On my first day behind the scenes, I was shown round the store, and then introduced to a manually operated coffee grinder located on the second floor by a beautiful oriel window overlooking the churchyard.  The premises were quite straightforward.  Each of the two shops consisted of living accommodation above a sales floor.  There was access between the two on the ground and first floors, but above that they were independent.  Because of the slope of the ground, the back doors were on the first floor, and opened onto the churchyard.  We normally used the back door of no.2, beside which was a tiny kitchen, while the rear of no. 3 led to what had once been a little veranda.  It was by that time a dark and dingy place and home to vast colonies of spiders, whose webs seemed to be everywhere.  It was secured to the outside by vertical shutters at the foot of two or three steps that ran the length of the shop; between these and the back door was a kind of rough storage area, secure but open to the elements.  This was where the bike lived.

Behind this almost unused door there were two rooms, the windows of which had been bricked up, so they were always dark, and illuminated when required by lone, unshaded electric bulbs  In one was kept sugar and biscuits, and in the other a variety of tinned fruit, jams and marmalades.  When it was delivered, the ordinary, granulated sugar arrived at the back door in brown paper packages each containing fourteen two-pound bags.  On the next floor were two more rooms, bright and airy, with a big window overlooking the market place, which were used to store coffee and tea, sweets and chocolate.  My first task that morning was to fill the coffee drawer with powder freshly ground from beans emptied from a one- or two-pound bag into the machine. 

When it was full, the drawer was carried down two flights of stairs to its place in the long wooden counter which ran most of the length of the shop.  There was a gap in the middle of the counter to allow access to the 'staff area' behind it, and at the end nearer the bacon slicer was a small office.  As well as coffee, the drawers underneath the counter contained rice, sugar of many kinds, and a variety of dried fruit.  When they were empty, or in slack times, simply running low, they were carried upstairs, refilled and returned.  On this brown wooden counter stood the magnificent cash register, with its sliding markers for pounds, shillings and pence.  Once the correct amount was set, the handle was turned rapidly and the cash drawer opened.  Change was counted up into the hand of the customer, as I've described elsewhere.

Past the office door was a small passage up a couple of steps that led into the ground floor of no.2, and its little-used front door.  I only saw it opened for two regular purposes.  One was the loading of the delivery van from wooden racks that filled most of this former shop area, where the orders were placed once picked.  The other reason for opening this door was when bacon and cheese was delivered, for at the far end there was a great refridgerated cupboard, and the delivery driver would carry the bacon straight from the lorry to the fridge.  At the back of no.2 was a brick arch, through which two or three steps gave access to a small dark cellar, which was actually beneath the churchyard.  Here the cheeses were stored until required.  As the level of custom in the shop allowed, one of the men would take a sharp knife and go into the fridge to remove the bones from the bacon, packing them into a small cardboard box.  One of my less pleasant duties when I was there involved carry this box round the corner to the abbatoir in Chapel St, where I was thankful to leave them in a pre-arranged corner, just inside the door.

Access to the third floor of no.2 was by means of a staircase at the far end, small enough almost to be a spiral, and one of my abiding memories is of struggling up and down those stairs with a box containing 36 giant packets of Kelloggs Cornflakes.  The two topmost floors of no.3 and the top floor of no.2 were all empty, and some of them were still covered with wallpaper from their time as bedrooms.

In the shop there seemed to be a place for everything, and of course everything had to be in its place.  Across the middle of the ceiling, just in front of the counter, was a shelf for the cereals, with lots of cornflakes at one end, and porage oats at the other.  In between were the usual varieties that were advertised on TV and favourite with the children, like Frosties and Rice Krispies, Sugar Puffs and Shreddies; and beside the Weetabix ... do you remember the yellow boxes of Force Wheat Flakes, with a picture of Sunny Jim on the front, vaulting a gate?  In front of this shelf, the ceiling was supported by two metal columns that helped to bear the weight of the four floors above, and the furniture of the shop was completed by a seat in front of the counter where the more elderly customers could rest their legs whilst waiting to be served.

As the week progressed, not only did the constant flow of people through the shop receive the personal service to which they were accustomed, but phone calls from isolated farms would be recieved in the office and answered with orderbook and pen, providing lists from which their requirements could be picked and packed ready for the regular deliveries.  There were four specific rounds over the course of the week, one on Tuesdays to the villages north and north-east of the town, two on Thursdays to the north-west and south-west, and then one on Friday mornings to the south-east.  At holiday times, Roly was required in the shop, of during the day, of course, and so these had to be accommodated in the evenings, and it was my excitement to go along with him on these occasions, ostensibly to help and reduce the time they took.  More often than not, the customers were only too pleased to see a new face, and embarrassed me by their friendly interrogation.

During my time at the shop, I learned many skills that are of no use today, and have now passed into history.  These included (with varying degrees of proficiency) wrapping a wedge of cheese in a neat greaseproof parcel; later on I was even allowed - with guidance, and for known, tolerant customers - to cut it myself, using that wire that ran down the middle of the marble slab!  Similar progressions were made in other matters, such as pouring sugar or rice from the scalepan into a blue bag without spilling any, before folding the top of the bag so that none should spill out.  Then came the greatest test of all -wrapping a pound of ground coffee in a plain white paper.  This involved bringing up both sides and folding these edges together so as to form a sort of tube, but gently so as not to shoot the coffee all over the counter; then the whole was swung onto one end, trapping the coffee against the counter while the other end was folded in the manner of a sugar bag; and finally - great risk of spillage here - inverting the whole thing and tucking in the other end.  On many occasions my efforts weren't deemed roadworthy as I'd left them and had to be tied with string for safety!

What a field day the health and safety people would have in such a situation as this today.  Such a lot of risk assessments; the need for clean hands; and the carrying of heavy boxes up all those hazardous stairs!  And I'm sure the employment people would have been quick to prevent me going along voluntarily as I did on Saturdays when holiday cover couldn't justify my paid attendance, simply because I enjoyed the company and the activity!  Such vivid and happy memories - it's hardly possible that they were almost fifty years ago!

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

In all their Glory

Monday gave me the opportunity to firm up my idea of where Redcar is.  When I was given the job in the late morning I thought, 'somewhere in Yorkshire - I should be back in good time to go ringing tonight.'  Now I admit I felt that a little optimistic, but when I discovered that a) it was quite near Middlesbrough, and if not actually in Teesside, it has a TS postcode, and b) on the seaside, I was not only surprised but also neatly provided with a good excuse for not going to the weekly bellringing practice after all.  I got a meal on the way home, and was back about 9.15.

This gave me the opportunity to ring the office at 8.0 am yesterday, and then stay home for a while.  I managed to finish the microfiche catalogue that I've been struggling with for the last couple of years or so.  Now all I have to do is print it out to go with me to the Suffolk Family History Society meeting on Saturday.  I'd just finished the viewing stage of the last batch of fiche when the phone rang.  I dropped everything, shut down the computer and went off on an urgent job to the bright new Broomfield Hospital in Chelmsford.  When I returned I was still nowhere near the top of the list, so was sent out again on a less urgent job to the West Suffolk Hospital in Bury St Edmunds.  By the time I was on my way back from there, jobs were being allocated for this morning, and I was sent to Stevenage to what is probably our biggest customer.

When I looked at what I had collected, I confess to some reflection about 'how the mighty are fallen'.  Notwithstanding their ranking in the list of firms using our services, I have to say that their professionalism leaves a lot to be desired.  I was presented with a delivery document addressed to their customer, with the correct street details but no town name, the county name mis-spelled - "Wilkshire" - and a postcode.  When I got home I had to spend some while sorting out exactly where I should be going, and then, after the minimum of admin, went to bed, since delivery had been requested for 7.0am in what I discovered to be Melksham, Wiltshire.

When I arrived (about one minute late) it was just getting light, and I was pleased to see that one of the windows of the bungalow showed a light inside, indicating that the householder was at least up and about. In answer to my knock, a figure approached along the hall and having confirmed that there was someone at the door, turned and went back for the door key.  The figure returned, there was a rattling and the sound of the key in the door, and then it was opened on the safety chain.  A hesitant voice said, "Yes?"  I explained my mission, the door closed and then re-opened with the chain removed.  I was confronted by a lady of about seventy, clad in her dressing gown.

"Oh," she said, "are they coming back today?"  It seems that an installation team had visited on a previous occasion, been unable to complete the job for want of whatever additional parts that were packed in the box I was delivering, and disappeared.  The poor lady had been given no idea when they might return, and no warning at all that I should be arriving with the parts today, let alone at 7.0 in the morning!  And then, when she acceded to my request for a signature, it became apparent that the firm had got her name wrong into the bargain!  I felt quite sorry for having disturbed her breakfast, and wondered what would have happened had she not been the sort to be up at that hour.

Money talks, they say.  But seldom, it seems, does it express consideration for the common man - or in this case, woman!

Friday, 13 January 2012

Retail therapy ... and other signs of 2012

The new year has got its feet under the table, as it were.  Things are slowly getting back to normal after the long festive break - although I confess that I haven't as yet got round to recycling those greeting cards that won't find their way into my 'sentimental retention' file.  And work-wise, this week has been remarkably better than last: not 'good', by any means, but with income likely to be more than twice last week's, I can't be other than satisfied.

The pattern that 2012 has established so far for me is one of semi-retirement.  That is, I might like for it to become semi-permanent if I were to find I could afford it (if that's not too tortuous!)  With one notable exception this week I've tended to get up quite lazily, and go in to work around 10.0 or later, which has had the benefit of getting some stuff done on my desk in the morning ... and the disadvantage of allowing me the latitude of staying up later at night!

Eight jobs this week have provided an interesting mix of the known and unknown, the long and short, and the good and bad fortune - oh, and that repeating genie of which I've spoken in the past got a hand in it as well.  A repeat of the Shoeburyness run I did last week was my only job on Monday, and Tuesday provided only a couple of locals.  I had risen to second on the list by mid afternoon, and was offered second refusal at an anti-social job for delivery in Lancaster by 8.0 the following morning.

This entailed being woken by a phone call at around 11.30pm, to meet someone for the collection, and a long, slow, economical drive taking as long as conveniently possible for what should be a 4-hour journey.  One aspect I particularly enjoyed was spending over an hour at Shardlow services on the A50, virtually the only customer - certainly the only one sitting there from 3.0 till 4.10 - sipping my coffee and reading my long-suffering book-in-the-van.  It seemed a warmer way of losing some of the excess time than trying to sleep in a cold van; and anyway, after six hours' rest, if not constant sleep, before leaving home, I wasn't particularly tired - until later on.

I mentioned the repeating genie - his contribution this week was different from the usual.  One of two jobs taken to Birmingham yesterday, was a box collected from our local college for delivery to a college there;  this morning I collected a similar box from the same place to go to a college in Norwich.

One of the tasks to which I was able to devote - or should that be sacrifice - my time at home this morning was reinstating my podcast feeds, which I managed to lose last night when I closed a dialog box on the computer without noticing until it was too late that one of the check-boxes was ticked!  At least this will prompt me to tidy up some that I downloaded long ago but have never got round to listening to!

Finally this week, a confession.  I have discovered the joys of retail therapy.  I blame the boredom that accompanies the present low level of work, although that's probably not justified.  Last weekend I replaced my hi-fi.  The old one had long since stopped playing CDs, and they all sit in the cabinet in the hall unable to be listened to.  I offered the old hi-fi on freecycle, but it seems there are no handymen about who might like to attempt the challenge to get it working again.  Tomorrow it goes to the tip.  And with it will go my old toaster, also replaced.  The excuse for this is that it was cheap and tiny, requiring the end of a standard slice of bread to be trimmed so that it would fit into the slot.  I deemed this wasteful of both bread and energy!

Add to these extravagences, the normal service to the van last Tuesday, and this week's follow-up to the eye test last weekend, i.e. new reading specs, and I can see why they call one day in late January 'Black Monday'.  It's when all the credit card balances, inflated by festive spending, have to be settled.  In my case, it's not festive over-spending, but a simple Micawberesque case of outgoings exceeding income, but one way or another it cannot be allowed to continue!


Sunday, 1 January 2012

Happy New Year

Whilst driving home, I was listening to the BBC Radio 4 'pick of the year'.  One interview was particularly moving.  The subject, a lady in Devon, was describing how she'd cared for her late husband in the final stages of Alzheimer's.  At the worst moments he became quite violent, and on one occasion she had to dash out of the bedroom and hold the door shut with all her strength to avoid being done serious physical harm.  As the interviewer empathised, and wondered how she'd been able to cope with such conditions.  She said, quite simply, "I loved him all the while.  When we married, all those years ago, I promised to love and care for him till death should part us, and that's what I did"

It may be a bit far-fetched, but I saw some link or parallel between that heart-wrenching tale and the plans that many have fulfilled for themselves within the last few minutes.  That woman was going to carry out her pledge to love her husband to the very last minute;  we have seen out all that 2011 had to offer right up to the very last minute.  Not that many of us have seen much love from 2011!  But rather than give up mid-evening and retreat to bed, hoping to wake up refreshed in a new and better year, we brave ones have hung on until the bitter end, to give 2011 a firm kick into the past, and to be among the first to welcome 2012 with a warm handshake as we offer a brief prayer that all those fearful and unfinished matters that have troubled us recently may be brought to a favourable conclusion in the months to come.

So here's to a Wonderful New Year!

Saturday, 10 December 2011

More tea, vicar?

It was the first day of the summer holidays.  Dave had a nice new blue ball, and was off to play with his friends.  The ball was a big hit, and day after day they played with it all day long.  His particular friends were Nick and Angela, and as the days passed they devised quite a complicated game to play with it; others came along too, and great fun was had by all.

Then one day, the others found a new ball.  This one was red and white, with lots of bright pictures all over it.  It was much more popular with the gang than Dave's old blue one and as they played with it, Nick and Angela and the others thought up new rules to adapt their game and make it even more fun.  Everyone else thought these changes were a good idea and happily joined in.  Dave didn't like these new ideas and tried to get the others to stick to the original game, but when they told him he ought to loosen up and think modern, he told them they couldn't play with his blue ball, and made a big show of stalking off home with it.

When he got home, he found the vicar had called to take tea with his mother.  Pleased to see Dave, the vicar switched on his friendly vicar smile, and asked him how he was getting on with his friends.  Quite sure that he'd made the right decisions, Dave told him all about the new game, and how he'd protested by taking his ball back.

Now the vicar was one of those people who are tricky to talk to because they make you think about yourself and what you're up to.  On his way there, he'd noticed the fun all the children seemed be having - with the red and white ball - and he asked Dave what he thought he'd gained by walking off on his own.  Who did he think he'd be playing with tomorrow?

Dave had lost none of his self-confidence.  "Nick, Angie and all the others, of course," he exclaimed, "I'm still one of the gang!"

The vicar smiled gently to himself ... and was there a muttered "I wonder ..." on his breath as he turned away?

Friday, 14 October 2011

Whatever next?

Two incidents in my almost ten-year courier career came to mind today as I mused upon the day's news.  On the only occasion, a couple of years ago, that I took someone with me when I made a collection of a customer's goods, we both understood without it ever being spoken, that that person would be quite willing to stay in the front of the van while I did my business.  Then, after only a minimal delay, we continued our bank holiday sightseeing journey.

One of my former colleagues one day made the fatal mistake of passing a parcel to an acquaintance for him to deliver on my friend's behalf.  This faux pas was discovered when the parcel never got delivered!  As a result, the man is no longer one of my fellow-drivers.  Because we are self-employed, he couldn't be dismissed, but he was told in no uncertain terms that there would be no more work for him, so it would be pointless for him ever to show his face in our office again!

I think it was on Wednesday afternoon that I muttered to myself, after hearing the latest news bulletin, 'he'll be gone by the weekend.'  It gives me no feeling of elation to be proved right - just a kind of bitter sadness.  By all accounts, our former Defence Minister was doing a very good job, and professionally he'll be a hard act to follow.  But what kind of mind does a man have when he can't see clearly where it is incorrect for his friend to be found, and on what trips his friend should not accompany him?  And as for all those who were interviewed this afternoon, and were apparently unable to see any more clearly than he whether what he had done was wrong or not ... are they just as blind?  Or are they scared of being on record as being decisive, but 'getting it wrong'?

And then there is this business about letters being put in public litter bins.  Mr Letwin 'wanted to make sure they didn't weigh him down'.  What a ridiculous comment.  Surely the best way to ensure that outcome would be to have left them in his office!  In days gone by, when in a former life I worked in an office, and occasionally had to deal with correspondence, I would either jot a draft reply by hand and attach it to the original for the typist to deal with, or if dictating, I would leave the original correspondence with the tape for reference when the reply was being typed.

Now, I know technology has moved on since then, so my meagre experience in this field can count for little,  but such advances are surely in directions which would mean that it is more, rather than less difficult to deal with correspondence while walking in the park?  At least, I should have thought it unlikely to be able to do so with a degree of completeness that would enable one to dispose so permanently of the original documents!  So again, I have to ask, 'what kind of mind does a man have to act in such a way?'

After the seemingly interminable revelations of the expenses scandal, when to my disciplined mind it seems totally impossible not to realise what is an expense of one's business, and what isn't, I thought I'd heard it all.  Now I'm wondering whether all political candidates, in advance of ever standing for election, should be forced to take the eleven-plus exam (or modern equivalent) to prove that they have the necessary common sense and understanding that we hitherto took for granted in our leaders!

Words - apart from the above paragraphs - fail me!