A Funny Thing Happened ...

I promised last week - having nothing specific in mind - that this post would be more light-hearted.  And so it has worked out.  A number of 'funny' things have happened this week, some in one sense, some in another.

It all began, I suppose, in church last weekend when a lady told me about an accident that had befallen her husband a couple of weeks ago.  He had stepped awkwardly off a kerb, twisted and fallen and suffered a badly sprained ankle.  At least I think that's what happened.  The end result was that a flat-pack desk that had been bought for his newly-decorated study was in the garage and not where it was intended to be.  I offered to help if required and a couple of days later after an exchange of text messages, arrived on their doorstep.

The erection of the desk went well; the main problem was the carrying of the pack into the study and man-handling the parts as necessary to effect the assembly.  After coffee and a chat, I was easily persuaded to assist in the removal of a sofa from the lounge into the study.  His wife and I got it onto its end and were manoeuvring it through the first of the two doorways when it lurched and pushed my knuckle into the door.  I thought no more of it until the exercise was completed and I checked my knuckle for damage.

The knuckle itself was intact but, blood was oozing fairly freely from a cut on the inside of the joint, where the impact had forced the corner of the sofa into it.  First aid was readily applied to my middle finger amidst the subdued mirth that the church's health and safety officer (me) had been injured and there was no accident book on hand in which to record the fact. I just had to be careful the following morning, when questioned as to its recovery, how I gestured that it hadn't fallen off overnight!

One of the relaxing amusements in my solo life is a snooker app on my tablet.  I just wish I were as clever with cue and balls on a real table as I am electronically.  The other night I hooted with laughter at my achievement. Being caught in a snooker, I realised that, not only could I just see the edge of the object ball but if I were to hit with sufficient energy the small edge I was offered, it should go into a pocket.  Taking careful aim, I let fly with as much force as the app would allow.  Crack!  The object ball moved only a short distance, albeit in the right direction, while in a flash my cue ball had struck a cushion and belted directly into the far pocket!

For months, now, I have slept badly because of what had been diagnosed as maxillary sinusitis.  During the summer I had been told that it is due to an allergy to pollen and that, as a 'Garden City', my home town is prone to this problem.  One doctor advised with a smile, "For a cure, you would have to move ... South America would be effective!"  Thanks to the prescribed medication, I enjoyed a few weeks' relief but, for the last couple of weeks, things have been just as bad as before.  This morning, for example, I was awake at 4.15, finished the overnight washing run, set the resulting wet clothes to dry and went back to bed where, as if at night, I read until about 6.0 before settling down for sleep once more.  When I eventually got up and finished breakfast about 9.30, it was with the washing all dry and ironing queuing up for attention when my errands were complete.

I ask you ... pollen? ... in December?  I've just made an appointment to ask my doctor for a second opinion!

This morning, I made my annual pre-Christmas pilgrimage to my local Waitrose.  My records tell me I didn't go last year; I must have been too preoccupied with my new car and the final onset of full retirement.  One of my credit cards gives me vouchers that I can spend there and, while I was working I used it for the servicing of the van and for the biggest item of expenditure, its insurance.  Hence a pile of vouchers has built up ... all amazingly with no expiry date!  When I first enjoyed this benefit, I was like a kid in a sweet-shop, piling up my basket with luxury items I wouldn't otherwise feel justified in buying.  It was noticeable this year, though - whether through retirement (and hence a much reduced likelihood of replenishing the stock of vouchers) or as a result of price increases following the summer's Brexit vote - that my shopping was more focused on things I would buy anyway, like bread, tea, spreads and spaghetti.

The week's final smile came when I returned to town this afternoon for a forgotten essential.  I found a cheque - valid, and in date - laying on the pavement in front of me.  I looked around to see if anyone showed signs of having dropped it but saw no likely candidate.  I decided that my choice lay between putting it back where I'd found it - hoping that the owner would discover the loss and return before fate, wind or ill fortune should overtake it - and taking it to a bank.  The bank upon which it was drawn has a branch in the town, only a few hundred yards away, so I took it there.

The cashier heard my tale with some incredulity and at first said there was nothing that could be done.  I pointed out that it was made out to an individual, who would probably like this sum in her account for Christmas.  I indicated that the cheque was drawn on this bank, and made the suggestion that its discovery could at least be reported to the drawer, so she consulted the manager.  After what seemed a long while, she returned to thank me for bringing it in and reported the manager's opinion, which coincided with my own.  Whether the cheque went straight into the bin as soon as my back was turned, I know not.  My reward was the smug satisfaction of having done 'the right thing'.

So many 'funny things' ... and not a Forum in sight!