An 'Interesting' Week

I use the word 'interesting' in the sense I first discovered in the words of an erstwhile Rhodesian colleague, who applied it to the sort of incident that was unforseen, and the resolution of which would require some ingenuity.  And, in that sense, I have to confess to some exaggeration, too; for most of the week did not fall into that category.

And so to the detail.  Monday got off to a slow, but triumphant start.  I related last week the problems associated with the aquisition of the laptop computer.  This was delivered on Monday morning, but not until an hour or so before the actual event did I know precisely when this would be, so I was uncertain whether I would be doing any work that day or not.  In the event, it was so conveniently early that I was able to achieve a most acceptable job to the hospital at Cosham, just outside Portsmouth, and be home in time for bell-ringing practice.

Tuesday saw the first of three jobs this week to the Manchester area.  Before making this delivery I had already been spotted and given a collection 'just round the corner' (in fact about five miles away) to take to a private address in Maidenhead.  It was then that the week's 'interesting' elements began, because to cover those five miles took an absolute age owing to a hole having appeared just before the evening rush-hour (so I was told) in one of the city's key through routes.  Certainly the traffic on the south side of centre was gridlocked!

I made my pick-up about 6.30, and stopped at a filling station to collect something for tea.  In my excitement, I must have omitted to set the handbrake for, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my van moving as I walked away from it.  I wasn't quick enough to stop it, and it rolled gently into the back of the taxi parked in front of it.  Fortunately, there was no apparent damage to either vehicle, and I was most relieved when the driver, emerging from the store, agreed with me, clasped me by the shoulder and went on his way.  I then discovered that SatNav - not for the first time - was working on its internal battery rather than from the lead plugged into the van.  If left unheeded, the eventual outcome of this would have been a complete lack of power, and no directions so, once I had established the best route across country, I switched it off until I neared my target.  The remedy to this unfortunate state, I have discovered, is to plug it into the computer to update it, which I did next day.

After this administrative chore Wednesday was, by contrast, almost uneventful with a local collection to start, and then deliveries to Aldershot and Alton.  Once more my presence was noticed by another office, and I collected fourth job in Bordon to bring me halfway home.  At this point it was discovered that the Alton job also involved a return leg, so I had to divert to pick this up on my way back.  By then it was too late to deliver this before the end of the working day, so it had to be taken to our customer in Hertford the following morning.

Thursday followed that same pattern, with a local collection, followed by two deliveries, this time to Leicester and Salford.  After picking up the second of these in Hitchin, I set SatNav to take me to the first delivery point ... Leicester.  When I realised that, in order to get to my target, I was being taken out of the city towards Peterborough, I began to lose faith in my electronic 'friend' once again.  Surely, in this instance, it would have been quicker to avoid Leicester itself, and go via Peterborough, than to be tormented by the continuing miles of roadworks and speed restrictions on the M1?

I'm not sure whether it was the lingering frustration at this apparent lack of judgement, or the test match commentary, or simply the flow of traffic that cause me to be in the wrong lane for my motorway exit.  Whatever the cause, I therefore had to take a cross-country route to get to Manchester.  It was beautiful, but took at least half an hour more.  Fortunately the recipient was willing to wait for me to arrive ... and there were no holes to delay me this time!  With no return job, I was able to enjoy a much needed leisurely break and meal on my way home.

Today, when I eventually declared myself 'fully turned around' after the late night return from Salford, I was surprised - nay astonished - to discover that the first job I was given was from nearby Melbourn to Stockport!  I decided there and then that I wouldn't be looking for anything else, but that a leisurely drive there and back would round off the week nicely.  So I was making my way up the A14, with the cricket commentary for company when I noticed that the image in the mirror by my side was unsteady.  In what seemed to be quite a long moment, I remember thinking to myself, 'Uh oh, I know what's going to happen in a minute ...' and by the time I'd managed to cross the intervening traffic lane and get onto the verge, it had happened. The glass from my offside mirror was laying on the road some distance behind me, and I was sitting in a vehicle that I could no longer drive!

I called the office to arrange another driver to take my job off me, and the AA for rescue.  Meanwhile I had been spotted by a passing police patrolman, whose main concerns - given that there is no hard shoulder there, and about a fifth of my van's width was still actually on the carriageway - were to get it and me to a place of safety, and to remove the risk of an accident being caused as passing traffic might swerve to avoid me.  He explained the strategy that we would adopt, which seemed quite straightforward.  I would drive slowly along the road the quarter-mile or so to the next exit, keeping to the extreme edge of the carriageway.  Meanwhile, he would be a short but safe distance behind me, blue lights flashing, keeping well over to the other side of the lane, as a shield.  I would then park in the layby just off the roundabout.

It seemed so simple, and was quickly executed; but at the end of it, I was shaking.  As I said to the officer when he walked up to make sure all was well, "You have no idea how scarey that was!"  Actually, he probably did have, but ...  After assuring me that to remain there, in what was actually a bus stop, would be OK, he was on his way.  My load was transferred to an Aberdeen driver who had been delivering nearby and was embarking on an empty journey home, and as we were discussing his best route out of England via Stockport, the AA man arrived.  After completing formalities, he went to collect a replacement mirror, and later duly returned to fit it and arrange payment.  Although, once home again, I presented myself as once more available for work, I was rather glad not to be called.

The weekend has started a little early this week, and I'm hoping it will lack the 'interest' of the week it follows.